Many of you know me in real life and are aware that my oldest son passed away on October 1, 2016. I have received texts, personal messages, cards and phone calls from many of you sharing your love and sympathy. I thought I would address it here in one place.
Today was my first day alone in over a week. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about it. On one hand, I was craving a little alone time to think. On the other hand, I was scared to have too much time to think. I was lucky to have two friends call me. They have no idea how nice it was to talk and laugh a little. I also had several friends text me to say they were thinking of me. Two people invited me to have lunch later this week. Diversion is a nice break.
A bright spot in the day was a 24 year old man who stopped by with chili, chips and key lime pie that he had prepared himself. He stayed for about 30 minutes and shared many memories that he had with my son. He shared how he, being 5 years younger, looked up to my son. This young man has no idea how timely his words were on my first day.
I have also been touched by every act of kindness and how much love has been poured on us. It feels like being in the desert one day and standing under a waterfall the next. I feel comforted to know that my son knew he was loved unconditionally. We knew that he loved us, too. My husband and I had a great two hour phone visit with him two nights before he passed away. Our last words were “I love you, Will” . “I love y’all, too.” He was so happy with his life. That is everything a parent dreams for their child.
Please do not be afraid to talk about my son to me. I would love to hear the ways that he touched your life or your children’s lives. I may get a tear in my eye but it will be a tear of pride of a job well done as a mother and a tribute to him being a good man. My mother passed away in 2008 and I think about her every day. I am confident that I will think about my son every day but I want to focus on the beauty of him.
I started this blog to share stories and pieces of my life but I never dreamed that I would be experiencing this. I am choosing to focus on the good memories, the closeness that we share with our other three grown children, and look for the good. I want to go to the light.
Love and peace to you all.
She writes about life, death, grief, and recovery.
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