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Lots of Big Feelings

By on Sep 13, 2017 | 9 comments

October 1st will mark the one year anniversary since my son passed away.  I don’t want to dwell on sad thoughts and memories.  If I have learned only one thing throughout these past 11 months it is no one can do grief for you; you have to go through the hard internal growth and acceptance on your own . A few weeks ago, on August 30th, my husband and I traveled to Nashville. I  was scheduled for back surgery on September 1st.  We were told to arrive at the hospital for pre-surgical tests on August 31st, and then come back the next day for surgery.  My husband made the hotel reservation.  The only information that he gave me was that the reservation was at a Hampton Inn a couple of blocks away from the hospital.  I gave no thought to it because he always does a great job taking care of that type of detail.  Around 10:00 p.m., the evening of the 30th, my husband pulled up into the...

A Dream From A Moment In Time

By on Aug 24, 2017 | 2 comments

If I had a genie lamp and could have one wish, it would be to have the ability to go back in time to spend a day with my children when they were preschoolers.  I loved listening to their version of life.  I loved their curiosity at that age.  I would love to have at least one more snuggle. My wish came true in July.  I had a Visitation Dream from Will.   In this dream he was five years old. I will try to set the stage for you.  In the dream the year was 1992.  My present day self was sitting in the backseat on the driver’s side of the 1987 silver Cutlass Supreme that we owned at the time.  On my right was Hunt at the age of  two years old.  He was sitting in his Fisher-Price car seat.  As I looked into the front seat, my view was of  me, age 33, in the driver’s seat.  Will,  five years old, was sitting in the front passenger seat. ( Kids could ride dangerously back then;...

Signs from Heaven At the Beach

By on Aug 22, 2017 | 4 comments

One of our family’s First’s this summer was taking a trip to the beach as a family for the first time since Will’s passing.   This was a huge step in moving forward for my husband and me. Will was three months shy of turning three years old when we took him to the beach for the first time.   It was magical seeing the beach through the eyes of a child.  Every trip I have taken to the beach since 1990 has always been compared to that first trip to the beach with Will. We enjoyed going to the beach every year as our four children grew.   For our family, going to the beach for a week meant uninterrupted family time. This year, we planned a trip to the beach over the Fourth of July holiday week.  The plan was for our two married sons and their wives to meet us in Florida.  My husband, daughter, and I traveled together.  As my husband and I planned this trip, we knew that...