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Please Don’t Do or Say These Things To a Bereaved Parent

By on Jan 4, 2018 | 6 comments

If you are a friend of a bereaved parent this post is for you.  Not everyone knows how to approach a bereaved parent. I want to give my definition of bereaved parent.  It may vary from parent to parent.  My definition of bereaved parent is if the first thing that I think when I see someone is  “Oh, there is (fill in name here).  I wonder how they have been doing since their child died?”  then they are a bereaved parent.   I can tell you that it is not something a person gets over, they just try to live with it the best that they can.  There is no timetable for grief. Here are some things I have learned most bereaved parents do not want you to say. 1.  “I’ve been meaning to call but I have been busy.”  This is more hurtful than comforting.  How am I supposed to respond to your inaction?  It really only leaves me with two possible responses.  I can murmur,...

How Will My Play End?

By on Jan 3, 2018 | 2 comments

I had an inspiration.  I began to imagine my life as if it were a play on a stage.  Let’s pretend that you have decided to buy a ticket to a play titled, The Life and Times of Cindy Magee.  As long as we are pretending, it will debut on Broadway because my life is better than a community theater play.  Plus, you get to go to New York and get dressed up. So in Act I, the characters Cindy and her fiance’, David, are making plans for their lives.  They will get married, work hard, buy a house, and they are dreaming of a precious baby that they hope to add to their lives to make this couple a family.  In the first act everything is going well.  They struggle to make ends meet, but use their resources and slowly begin building a cozy and comfortable life.  They find out that they are pregnant and they are over the moon.  This little baby boy, wrapped in blue, is the most...

37 Things that I Learned in 2017

By on Jan 2, 2018 | 6 comments

When 2017 began I was beginning my third month as a bereaved parent.  As I reflect upon the past year I realize that I have learned a lot about myself and how I have grown as a person. There are many parents from all over the world who have lost children.  I am not alone. If I look and listen to my soul, there is an opportunity for spiritual growth in abundance. This experience creates the space to simplify life socially, physically, emotionally. There are beautiful people in the world who will love me in the most unexpected ways. I have learned a new level for compassion that I didn’t know I needed to learn. I have learned to cut through the pretenses of life and the beauty of living authentically. I am becoming the “me” that I was always meant to be. I have the opportunity to help others in grief. I have had the opportunity to bring attention to society the issues...

The Second Christmas

By on Dec 22, 2017 | 4 comments

It’s been 14 months since my son passed away and it’s our second Christmas without him.  I have met so many parents who have experienced a loss like my own.   They always feel the loss but are especially missing their children this time of year. When I first became a mother I had no idea that I could love my children with the fierce intensity that I do.  When you love someone that much and they pass away, naturally the grieving process is going to be met with an intensity to match the love. I have had so many emotions since the loss of my son.  Sorrow naturally, but there was a point early on when I felt anger at him.  I didn’t want to feel anger at him especially when he wasn’t here to atone for what was my perceived impression of his offense .  His offense in my mind was how could he leave me?  Didn’t he know how much I would miss him?  Didn’t he know how he would change...