Have you ever had an experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner, but seem unrelated? The chance that they would occur together must be very small. This is called synchronicity. It is also referred to as a God Wink, defined as an event or personal experience often identified as coincidence, but is so astonishing that is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.
I have experienced God Winks, signs, and synchronicities from the first day of my son’s passing. In the beginning, I doubted whether these events were truly a connection with my son’s spirit, or merely wishful thinking. When sharing these experiences with those who have not lost a child, I sometimes wonder if they think that I have lost my mind. However, I have yet to talk with a bereaved parent that has not experienced this phenomenon.
The love bond between parent and child is one that cannot be severed by death. Love is what brought my child to me at conception and love will bond us through eternity. The message that I feel compelled to share is Heaven is love and our whole existence is designed to connect us to love. Why do we doubt our ability to have a love connection with our loved ones in spirit.
I don’t know how a cell phone or electricity works but I accept that it does despite my lack of understanding. That is how I feel about the afterlife, eternity, and continued relationships with loved ones in spirit. We are not designed to know everything now nor do we need to. This is where faith comes in.
One of the changes that occurs after child loss is the feeling of not being in control. Child loss is so consuming that I learned that I had to let go of some things in my life in order to heal. There is emotional and spiritual freedom in letting go of the need to control everything. I have given up many things that no longer support the person I am now. In the beginning, one of the scariest things about child loss was not feeling like myself anymore. The fear that I would not go back to being my normal self felt distressing at first. I have come to know that I was supposed to change and become a new version of myself. It is freeing.
I would like to share an experience that left my husband and me awestruck.
I listened to a podcast earlier in the week about synchronicity and signs. The speaker said one way to ask your loved one for a sign is to ask for something specific within a specific time frame. Her example was, “Please send me a red rose in an unusual way in the next two days.”
The next day I was reflecting on the podcast and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try. I said aloud, “Will, please send me a cardinal in an unusual way and in an unusual place within the next day.” I didn’t want to get my hopes up lest I be disappointed. Then I forgot about it.
Yesterday, my husband and I were doing chores. I was in the house neatening a room and setting up a writing space for myself. I puttered about placing treasured momentos in this room that remind me of my family. Tucked in a corner was a wicker picnic basket filled with cd’s. I haven’t opened that basket in at least three years. I pulled it out to purge the contents and as I took them out one by one, (Kenny G, I’m looking at you), stuffed in the bottom was a chewed up, dusty, faux cardinal. Amongst the plastic cases, the red feathers were vivid. I immediately felt a flash of recognition of my request from the day before. As I was sitting there on the floor, still flabbergasted, my husband walked into the room. He had been cleaning the garage. In his hand was a solar light with the tags still on that had a plastic red cardinal perched on top. He found it in the bottom of a box he was emptying and it was significant enough to him that he brought it in to show me. I showed him my cardinal and told him the story of asking for a sign.
We each found a cardinal within the same few minutes in an unusual way in an unusual place. The unmistakable knowing that this wasn’t random and that it was a sign was significant enough for my husband to walk into the house to show me his find. It was definitely two seemingly unrelated events that felt like more than a coincidence. I know that it felt comforting and peaceful in a world of uncertainty. It felt like a Wink from above.
Peace and love.
She writes about life, death, grief, and recovery.
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- Healing After Child Loss - June 19, 2022
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