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A Little Slice of Heaven

By on Dec 22, 2019 |

I shared yesterday with you about my dream of Will the previous night. I could not get him off my mind all day. I was puttering in the house all day getting ready for Christmas and hearing Will’s voice in my head. “ I am so sorry, Mom. I am so sorry.” I was nearing the end of my puttering, when about 5:00, the idea randomly popped into my head that my husband and I needed to go see the new Mister Rogers movie. I consulted the movie listings and the next showing would be at 6:50. The movie began with Mister Rogers speaking directly into the camera with the most soothing voice I think I have ever heard. I felt the rushing and stress of the day melt from my body. Also, I could feel Will with me there. It was such a relaxing experience. I always take a fleece blanket to the movie at our new reclining chair theater for maximum enjoyment. I was thoroughly immersed in this little slice of...

Another Visitation Dream

By on Dec 22, 2019 |

I want to share a spirit dream I had this morning just before waking. In the dream I was in the backseat of a car. I felt the sensation of a person beside me. I could not see the face, only the hair color, sandy blond, course texture and lots of waves, very thick. I immediately knew it was Will. I buried my face into his hair and hugged him tight. I could feel the hair texture on my face and his hair smelled just like Will’s hair. Such a familiar smell! Then he said in an pleading, almost tearful voice, “Mom, I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I hate that I put you through this.” He seemed to be genuinely concerned that he had hurt me. I soothed him by rubbing his hair and told him, “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. We will be okay.” In the dream, I truly meant it. I awoke immediately and the feeling I had was it had a spirit dream feel to it. I could remember every detail....

The Grief of Child Loss Will Last As Long As Love Does

By on Dec 6, 2019 | 7 comments

We wonder why our grief won’t ease faster. Why does it stick around so long? We have lost people in our lives before. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, friends… Those losses hurt but eased up as we got back into our routine. After child loss, we wonder what is wrong with us. Will this ever not hurt this much? Are we losing our mind? No, we aren’t losing our mind. We are missing this child in direct proportion to the love we have for them. We grieve for the length of time our heart and mind needs to grasp this new relationship with with our child in spirit. Our child in the physical form took up much of our life and energy. When their physical needs no longer needed to be met, we had time and restless energy on our hands. The time we had previously spent meeting their daily needs such as feeding, grooming, educating, nurturing, etc took up big chunks of our day. Or if our child was...