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Our Mamas

By on Jul 19, 2016 |

I was 48 years old when my mother died in 2008. She had battled cancer for 5 years and she played the hand that she was dealt in the most dignified way possible. The last 10 days of her life were spent in a hospital. It was surreal how those four walls became a universe all their own while the outside ceased to exist. The first few days after her death are a bit vague but I remember planning a service with my siblings that we thought brought dignity to her life. I remember the cards, flowers, people coming to visitation and the funeral. I remember sleeping harder in the first two weeks than I had slept in a long time. The reality set in around week three when the cards and meals stopped coming and I started to get back into a routine. The reality manifested itself in the most odd ways.  A routine that I had enjoyed every morning after the kids left for school was me sitting down with...

How I Want To Be Remembered

By on Jul 17, 2016 |

Being a woman, wife, mom, daughter, friend, and every other role a woman plays in her life is a juggling act. If I give too much attention to one, then I feel as if I have left a lot of balls in the air that are going to drop with a thud if I divert my attention too long to one thing. I have half-jokingly told my kids that I want my epitaph on my marker to read: Loving Wife and Mother Devoted Daughter. Sister, Aunt, Friend SHE TRIED I feel this just about sums me up. I Tried. I always fall short of what my intentions are. Sometimes good enough is good enough. The areas of my life that I really care about are the relationships in my life. I have a lot of love to give and I want to do that the best that I can. But I am human. I was not made to be perfect. Sometimes I am giving one kid so much attention because they are the one that needs it the most that day. It is easy for the other...

Daughter’s-In-Law

By on Jul 17, 2016 |

I get to become a mother-in-law for the second time in December 2016. The first time was in June 2015. For as long as jokes have existed there have been jokes about mother’s- in laws- from the son’s-in-law and the daughter’s-in law perspective. I don’t want the be the butt of any joke unless I am making fun of my very own self. I am a very self deprecating person so I do make lots of jokes about stupid stuff that I do. I am always the first to laugh at myself. But not on the subject of being a mother-in-law. When I became the mother of three boys (with a baby girl on the end), I immediately began planning for being a mother-in law. When my boys were toddlers, I began way back then to pray for my future Daughters-in law-to-be. I prayed that they had parents who loved them unconditionally. I prayed for them to have a high sense of self worth. I prayed that their parents were introducing...